


Calm Before the Storm

by Starren_Moonstone



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alcohol, Anxiety, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Good Cows (The Magnus Archives), M/M, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:09:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23950594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starren_Moonstone/pseuds/Starren_Moonstone
Summary: Martin and Jon have some relatively calm moments up in the cottage in Scotland. The future is still unknown, so they will take the present because that is all they have.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 2
Kudos: 66





	1. The First Night

**Author's Note:**

> Post ep 159, Pre ep 160. I don't know how much I am going to write for this. Depends how many moments I write out. Hope you all enjoy.

It took Jon forever to find a tea kettle. He thought it to be a basic thing that would be left in an obvious place. But no, and more than that, it had to be kept in a very mundane place in the cottage: a storage closet where the towels and other linens were stored. Jon sighed heavily, more exhausted than he believe he should be. That lead him to be reminded of the events of the past few days, and that made him even more exhausted. He filled it with water, turned on the stove, and sat at the table. He wasn’t sure when Martin was going to come back, but he thought it would be nice to have some tea waiting. He himself would love some tea, and just sit and be for a small while. Jon couldn’t remember the last time he was able to just be in a moment. Though, he should probably look around the cottage again. Not that there was much. There was the room that he was in, which was the kitchen. It had the essentials for any simple kitchen. The front door was connected to it, and it lead into a small hallway, that lead to the other rooms of the cottage. On the immediate right was a living room, complete with a fireplace. Down to the left was a small bathroom. And at the very end was the bedroom Two single beds, with bedside tables and a wardrobe. It was a small place. Cozy, even.

Jon was about to nod off when the kettle started whistling and he heard a door close. “I’m back. And the good news is that Basira is going to send a care package… what is that?”

“Sorry,” Jon muttered, as he took the kettle off of the stove, “Um, so that’s good. What’s the bad news?”

“I only got to the store as it was closing, so we’re going to have to settle for soup until I can go tomorrow. You should come see it, it’s a lovely little place. And there are so many cows.”

Jon nodded once. He wasn’t sure why Martin was so interested in cows. He kept pointing them out on the way up to Scotland, and at that point, Jon was too scared to ask about it. “I’d… I’d really like that. To see the village. So long as there’s nothing there.”

“Not from what I could see. It’s a normal looking place. The people seem friendly enough.” Martin smiled, which reassured Jon greatly.

It did not, however, help the feeling of absolute exhaustion on his shoulders. Tea was made and sat at the table to enjoy the tea. John sat there, staring at his tea, not having much of any capacity to hold a conversation or even think. Martin was talking about something, but the words seemed to just be a part of the background. It wasn’t that he didn’t care; he just absolutely couldn’t.

“Jon?” Martin didn’t look all that impressed as Jon snapped out of his daze for a moment.

“I’m sorry, Martin… I think the past few weeks have taken its toll on me.”

“The bed is more comfortable.”

Jon nodded in agreement. “Care to join me?”

Martin blushed a little. “Yeah… I think I will.”

Martin made quick work of taking care of the mugs, and together they both went to the bedroom. After putting on bed clothes, Jon didn’t bother to get under any of the blankets. He passed out the moment his head hit the pillow. It was the first time Jon ever fell asleep that quickly in a bed.

* * *

Martin, on the other hand, had more apprehensions. He got into his bed, staring up at the ceiling above him, and willed himself to sleep. However, a nagging feeling gripped his thoughts; what if this wasn’t real? The he was still in the Lonely, and that when he fell asleep it was going to get him again. That he would wake up and no longer know who he was again, and be utterly alone again. His thoughts kept running down that rabbit hole and he started crying quietly. He sat up and covered his eyes. It was painful. Truly it was. It was a pain that couldn’t be pinpointed or even felt in the conventional manner. It’s a pain on the inside that could be felt all over. Martin felt alone, and that made him panic even more.

“Martin? Martin!” Martin felt a hand tightly grip his shoulder. He looked to see Jon, still dead tired, but looking scared. Neither of them said anything; they just looked at each other, wondering what to do. It had been a long time since Martin felt like he could confide in someone.

Jon eventually tried grasping for words. “I… what… I’d like to know if there is anything I can do to help. You… you’ve been through hell.”

“You have too,” Martin sniffed.

“I’m not the one fading from existence.”

Martin couldn’t exactly argue with that. He put a hand on where Jon held his shoulder. It felt… nice. “I still… I can’t believe we’re actually here in Scotland… we are here, right?”

Jon nodded.

“Right… ok…” Martin knew he asked that same question so much over the past few days, but he was still waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under him.

Neither of them moved, until Jon eventually said, “Should I… I mean, only if you are ok with it but… we could move the beds together. Then, like, all you would have to do is reach out and know I’m here?”

Martin nodded. They both make quick work, pushing the beds together and moving the bedside tables. Martin took Jon’s hand, trying once again to reassure himself that the present was reality. Jon fell asleep again, after managing to get under the covers.

In what seems like another life, Martin would have thought being there like that with Jon meant they were together as a couple. They weren’t. Not yet… not officially. There hadn’t really been any proper time to talk about it on the way up to Scotland. They were both tired, and both gone through a lot that day. No… there was no time for personal feelings. Martin smiled a little as closed his eyes. After what felt like years of hell, this was nice. He fell into a dreamless sleep, which was a miracle unto itself.

* * *

Jon, as per normal for his dreams, relived people’s trauma. It certainly didn’t help his mental state, but he was used to it by now. Staring… watching… like a creep. He did try to look away, but whenever he did, he found himself in some other story of torture. Eventually, he was able to tear himself out of the dreams back to the realm of the waking. It was still dark out, though the room was lit by the bedside lights. They totally forgot to turn them off before falling asleep. Maybe it was for the best… Jon certainly didn’t want to turn them off.

Jon noticed that Martin still had a hold of his hand, although rather loosely. He was snoring slightly, his other arm wrapped around his pillow. Jon wondered how long it had been since Martin properly slept. Key word being properly. A person can say that they slept, but it doesn’t mean they’ve properly rested. Jon certainly hadn’t for years. That was a really depressing thought.

Sitting up, Jon saw the time was two in the morning, still a long way off from dawn. He let out a groan. There had been plenty of times where he would lie awake in the night, not wanting to sleep because of the nightmares, but not wanting to get up because he knew he would regret it later by passing out at work.

Martin stirred a little, his hand searching for Jon’s hand. Jon quickly took Martin’s hand, worried that Martin would wake up scared. Martin settled down again, once their fingers were intertwined.

Sighing, Jon lay back down on the bed. The house creaked a moaned a little due to the wind rushing through. Jon half expected a tree to knock the window, but none did. He looked down at his occupied hand, and rubbed his thumb against Martin’s. It was… honestly rather nice. For weeks, he had been wanting to actually talk to Martin, to actually connect with him. He felt so horrid about the way he had been treating him, and felt it rather fitting Martin’s treatment of him recently. He deserved it. He wanted to do better. He owed it to Martin to do better.

At some point, Jon must have fallen asleep, because suddenly sunlight got in his eyes. He groaned and slowly opened his eyes. His hand was still intertwined with Martin’s, and Martin was wide awake. He started blushing when he realized Jon was up. They both looked at each other, not really knowing what to say.

“Morning,” they both eventually said at the same time. Martin snorted and then they both started laughing out of sheer relief. It was morning, they were out of the institute, and thus far, there was nothing after either of them.


	2. A Moment about Cows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon and Martin go look at some good cows and run into someone on the road.

Jon let Martin convince him to go out for a walk. They wouldn’t go into the village, considering Jon didn’t really trust himself to leave everyone well enough alone. But, Martin very much wanted to make sure Jon got some fresh air. Jon didn’t have the heart to tell Martin he was an indoor person and didn’t go out much to begin with. Martin started going off about the cows and Jon decided to just go along with it.

They were both leaning against one of the fences, looking at the cows in the fields. Jon could admit to himself that they were rather nice cows, and they were fun to watch. He looked over at Martin, who was staring back at him with this pleased look on his face. “Is… everything ok?” Jon asked slowly.

Martin blushed a little, but he didn’t turn away. “Oh, I… ah… it’s been a while since you’ve smiled. Like, not a force fake smile, but like naturally.”

Jon blinked. Was he smiling? “Really?”

Martin nodded. “I knew you would like it out here, despite all your complaining on the way up.”

“I was not complaining. I was voicing… concerns.”

Martin playfully raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really?”

“Yes. And there were a lot of concerns.”

Martin laughed a little. It was quiet, like he was afraid to break the silent air with his voice. “And how many of those concerns actually held any water?”

Jon opened his mouth then closed it again. So far, none of them. The cottage was actually there, and it was rather nice. Not his style, but that was just being picky. The nearby village was quite and no one really came wandering. They had food, and a place to sleep. Everything seemed fine. Martin just stood there, still smiling. “So we got lucky,” Jon eventually said.

One of the cows came up to the two of them, and nuzzled Jon’s face. Jon nearly jumped out of his skin in surprise. He fell on the dirt road, trying to catch his breath. Martin broke down giggling, using the fence for support.

“She really likes you,” Martin said when he finally caught a chance to speak.

“I guess…” Jon got up and walked slowly back over to the cow. The cow stood there, calmly, swishing its tail around. Jon patted it on the nose. “Nice cow,” he muttered.

“It’s not like it’s going to bite your head off,” Martin said.

“Well… it might… depending on… things.”

“On ominous things, yeah. But there’s nothing here. It’s just a normal cow.” Martin pet the cow’s neck, in a similar way as one would pet a horse.

“So… I have to ask. What is it with you and cows?”

Martin raised an eyebrow. “Nothing, why?”

“It’s just that you’ve been bringing them up ever since we started heading over here.”

“Because you like cows.”

Jon pointed at himself, and Martin nodded.

“Yes, you.”

“I mean, they look nice.”

“They’re your favorite animal.”

Jon was not aware he had a favorite animal.

“Or that’s what you told me.”

“When was this?”

“A while ago. When I was staying at the archives because of the worms.” Martin shuttered unconsciously. “You stayed really late, and I said you should stay the night because who knew what was out there.”

“I remember that much. You were on the cot and I had a mat.”

“Right… And we both got drunk.”

Jon didn’t remember that part at all. The whole night was a blur and he honestly thought that he just immediately passed out that night from being so tired. “On what?”

“Tim gave me some vodka. It’s not my thing, but I was having a hard time sleeping and he felt bad.”

“That’s not a good way of dealing with that.”

“He was trying to be nice. But, anyway, I offered some and we both got drunk. You were more drunk than me.”

Jon could believe that. He could never really handle any sort of liquor well.

“We talked about dumb things, and you told me your favorite animal was a cow. That even though they just kinda sat there, they do know when they’ve had enough and will act upon it.”

“I mean… you do know how many deaths are attributed to cows every year.” Jon was still wondering why a cow of all creatures would be his favorite. And then he surmised that he was drunk and drunk people never had any sense. “…I really don’t remember any of that.”

“You did kinda pass out eventually. And you had a hangover the next day. I did too, but…”

“I had it worse.”

“Yep. Good thing it was the weekend and no one was in the archive.”

“Besides an occasional worm.”

“They don’t count.”

“No, I suppose they don’t.” The cow moved on to another patch of grass to continue on with its simple existence. “How did we get on the subject of favorite animals?”

“That I don’t remember. But you were the one mostly talking all night.”

“…I do that a lot, don’t I?”

“I don’t mind. You have a nice voice, like something from a good audiobook.”

“I’m not much of a voice actor.”

“Do you ever listen to the recordings of yourself?”

“That’s not me.”

“It’s your voice. I think you would be good at it. When this is all over, you should go into voice acting. Or just audiobook voiceovers. Something like that.”

Jon snorted humorlessly, and sighed. “If this will ever end.”

“Don’t be so ominous.”

“You know I’m right.”

“Yes… well…” Martin struggled to find words. “You don’t have to be depressing about it. The world can do that enough as it is.”

“I’m being realistic.”

“Then… realistically speaking, nothing can last forever.”

Jon was about to say that in the case the two of them were in, they’d die and that would be their way out. However, he had enough sense to keep his mouth shut. Because of his conscious decision, they both fell into an uncomfortable silence. “Shall we… continue on?” Jon eventually said.

The two of them continued traveling on the dirt pathway they’ve been walking along. There was a little distance between them. Jon would like to hold Martin’s hand, but he felt shy in asking, despite what happened a few nights ago. That was private. Here, they were out in the open… and still alone. Jon looked at Martin’s hand. Damn it all. “Martin, um… can I hold your hand?”

Martin blinked for a moment in surprise, smiled brightly, and nodded. Jon took Martin’s hand, and he felt good holding it. It felt… nice. Martin shifted his hand so that both their fingers were interlocking. The sky was blue, the sun was shining, and for the first time in a very long time, Jon actually felt good about holding hands with someone.

“We should probably talk about our relationship,” Jon brought up when the two of them stopped by the edge of a nearby forest. There was a giant rock that they decided to sit on.

“Right…” Martin squeezed Jon’s hand a little bit. “What about it?”

“Well, that depends on what we want. I mean… I would love to be with you. I just… want to know if you feel the same way… despite everything.”

“Why not because?”

That threw Jon into a loop. “What?”

“Can’t I love you _because_ of what has happened? I’ve… I’ve liked you for a long time… But it’s changed. I know you better now, because of everything that has happened. And as much as it all sucked, this might be the one good thing that has come from all of it.”

Jon kept his hand on Martin’s. He… they certainly weren’t out of the woods yet. Jonah was still out there, with his plan for The Watcher’s Crown, whatever that would entail. The only real comfort that Jon felt was that they’d be able to see if Jonah was coming for them. Basira would notice and would get in contact with them about it. They could hide out, until the dust settled down and then they could figure out next moves. Jon couldn’t get comfortable… but maybe Martin was right in thinking that everything could be alright and some good could come out of all the shit they’ve both been through. “I’d like that.”

They sat there on the rock, holding each other’s hand and looking out at the Scottish countryside. A light breeze played against both their faces, making the day feel a little bit cooler than comfortable.

“Jon,” Martin broke the silence, “Can I kiss you?”

It was the first time Jon was asked that and he honestly could say, “Yes,” without any apprehension of what was going to happen after.

* * *

Walking back to the cottage, Martin continued to point out the cows. He did think they were good cows, and it did make Jon smile a little, which in turn make Martin smile back. Really, Martin shouldn’t had been so surprised that Jon completely forgot that one night, since it was a while ago and he was very much drunk.

At some point, Jon squeezed Martin’s hand, and got behind him, letting go. It was very sudden, with no explination.

“Jon?” Martin asked, turning to face Jon.

“There’s someone coming up the road.”

Martin followed the path of the road. There was someone coming. A local farmhand who looked to be in his 70s. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“That’s not my concern,” Jon said quietly.

It took Martin a moment to figure out what got Jon so worked up. It wasn’t so much the person walking down the road could be a threat, but that Jon was the potential threat. “Well… this place is quiet enough. Maybe nothing has happened here.”

Jon snorted breathlessly at that.

“Good afternoon!” the farmhand said, tipping his had to Martin.

Martin nodded his head. “Wonderful weather we are having.”

“Enjoy it while it lasts. It’s supposed to rain tomorrow. About time too. We haven’t had any in weeks. Ah, and hello to you too.” The farmhand spotted John, who had peaked out of curiosity. “You look a mess.”

“We’re up here on a bit of a holiday,” Martin explained, “It’s been a rough year for both of us.” It wasn’t a complete lie.

“Well, up here is about as quiet as you can get. Good luck, to the both of you.” The farmhand walked on the road, whistling an old tune.

“I would think out of the two of us, I would have been the one to be people averted,” Martin commented once the farmhand was long gone.

“You just hate crowds,” Jon said, “The journey to get out of London made that obvious.”

Martin grimaced a little. Getting out of London was a nightmare, because London was a huge city with a lot of people. Everywhere. It used to not bother Martin at all, but because of recent events… well, Martin was a little more sensitive to where people were. “As I said before, it seems to be just a normal place. I think… well, it has to be true, but most people don’t really have anything to do with the… eldritch horrors that we’ve been stuck with. Or, you know, I think more people would be panicking.”

“Right…” Jon sighed, and rested his forehead against Martin’s arm. He laughed a little, and when Martin asked about it, all Jon asked, “I don’t think we’re getting out of any of this sane.”

“Well… at least we aren’t doing this alone.”


	3. Of Short Stories and Quiet Moments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been rather busy getting a different story written (for the Rusty Quill Big Bang - and that's all I will say until the work gets posted). I found this chapter already written, and so I give you some more JonMatin fluff in a softer time. Hope you enjoy!

That afternoon, Jon ended up on the couch, with a book he was able to shove in his bag. Despite never liking to reread anything, there were a few books Jon did keep in his possession, mostly gifts from friends. The one he currently had was one that Georgie gave him while they were still dating. It was a book of assorted short stories by an author he had never heard of before, not surprising considering this was a newer author and was American. He still hadn’t gotten around to reading it, and since he was going to have a lot of down time in the near future…

Martin eventually joined him, with a box of stuff from the attic above. Assorted candles, Yahtzee, some crochet hooks… just an odd collection of items that reminded Jon of a grab bag. Well, grab box in this case. Martin stared at a wooden triangle with many divots in it. “Why does Daisy have all this stuff?”

Jon shrugged. “I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if there was like a sword in the mix and that was why she bought it. Or it could just be family things.”

“Seems a little too sentimental for her.”

Jon went back to his book, not really wanting to find out why Daisy had a random assortment of items. Though, truth be told, he was kind of excited to see the Yahtzee. He hadn’t played that game in so long; most people found it rather dull.

Martin pulled out a plastic stick with a cup head. He stared at it a long while. “What is this even for?”

“Um…” Jon looked at the peg. “Not sure.” He looked at the other items Martin pulled out. He took a different peg and placed it in one of the notches on the wooden triangle. It fit nicely in. “Oh… I think I’ve heard of this one before. It’s supposed to be a puzzle.”

Martin started gathering all the pegs and put them in the holes in the triangle. The aim of the game was supposed to be taking out the pegs one by one by jumping them, checkers style, until there was only one left. Jon watched Martin play around with it for a while before going back to the book. He wasn’t sure what Martin’s fascination was with the thing. Something to do, probably.

“Is the book any good?” Martin asked, joining Jon properly on the couch. He looked over at the book from behind Jon’s shoulder. Not a hard feat by any means, considering Martin was taller than Jon.

“It’s… different. I usually don’t read short stories. I prefer novels.”

“What’s your favorite? Novel, I mean.”

“I… well… don’t really have one.”

“Really? There isn’t one that stands out over the rest?”

Jon shrugged. “No… probably because I haven’t read in a long time. I can’t even remember the last time I picked up a book for fun.” It certainly was before he was appointed Head Archivist. “Do… um, do you have a favorite book?”

“You’re going to have to promise not to laugh,” Martin said, “I… um, really liked _Pride and Prejudice_.”

Jon looked up from his book and stared at Martin. “Isn’t that a romance novel?”

“It was… well, the first part is a bit dry, but once you get into it, it’s a rather fun read. Especially since Elizabeth is the absolute sass master. But, I like reading poetry more. Have you ever gone to see slam poetry before?”

“Can’t say I have.”

“It’s a lot of fun. I should take you sometime. When we get back to London.”

‘If.’ Jon thought, but he didn’t say it out loud because he thought it was nice to hear Martin be happy about something. There was a lift in his voice that Jon hadn’t really heard in a long while. “…would I have to do some research?”

“Wha… no. It’s a performance. You just sit and listen and take in the feeling of the poem.”

Jon pursed his lips. It was only recently he decided poetry wasn’t all that bad. He still didn’t understand it all that much. And feeling feelings wasn’t something he was comfortable doing.

“Can you read to me?”

“What?”

“I want to hear your read something that isn’t completely horrifying. You have a nice voice.”

“I don’t actually like do the voices usually.”

“I don’t care. It’s your voice that I like the most.”

Jon cleared his throat. “If you insist.” Jon flipped to the beginning of the short story he was on, for Martin’s sake as well as his own because he wasn’t really paying attention to it. It was about postcards… sort of. Maybe this would give him a chance to actually engage with the text. Martin put his arm around Jon, his head on Jon’s shoulder. It freaked Jon out for a moment, he was always sensitive to touch, but he found it rather comforting. He leaned his own head on top of Martin’s, getting lost in the words, but not enough to lose the moment he was in.

At some point in the story, he could nearly see the world the story created. It was realistic fiction, so it wasn’t too crazy, but it was different enough from Jon’s current situation. A road trip to a beach. A lonely hotel room. A postcard. And plenty of words left unsaid. The story eventually changed into a different one with different players, and again. However, considering this was all written by the same author, Jon felt the stories blend together.

Jon eventually was aware that he was no longer holding his book, and lying horizontal instead of sitting vertical. He blinked, and realized his head was on Martin’s lap. He sat up quickly.

“Oh good, you’re up.” Martin was holding Jon’s book, holding it in one hand with his thumb keeping the pages readable.

“Wha… when…”

“You’ve been sleeping for the past few hours,” Martin said, closing the book and putting it on the coffee table. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

The sun was starting to set outside. Jon felt disoriented, as he usually did when he had a nap. “We should probably make dinner.” He was hungry… he wasn’t sure if it was for actual food or fear. He shuttered at the thought.

“Yes… though I’m not a great cook.” Martin looked nearly embarrassed.

“That’s ok. I can. And if you want, I can teach you.”

They both headed to the kitchen.

“When did you learn how to cook?” Martin asked, surprised more than anything.

“My grandmother. She taught me the basics, and I did a lot of the cooking when I was in secondary school.” Jon did enjoy cooking. He didn’t get to do it often for other people. “I’ve always enjoyed it.” It slowly dawned on him that he hadn’t really cooked in a while, opting for quicker methods for meals or just outright forgetting. “And it’s more fun when you’re with someone.”

******

Martin stared up at the ceiling, under the blankets, waiting for Jon to come into the bedroom. He was tired not even 20 minutes ago, however after getting into bed, he felt more awake than ever. He shifted around, trying to get comfortable. He couldn’t.

“Alright, Martin?” Jon asked, finally coming into the room.

Martin nodded once, and tried to settle down.

“With how you were before, I thought you would have fallen asleep by now.”

Martin smiled a little sheepishly. “I thought so too.” Cooking with Jon was rather fun. Martin had never made any sort of sauce from scratch before, and understood why people would do it after eating it. It tasted like home… or what a home should be.

Jon turned off the light and got into bed. He sat there, looking down at Martin. “…anything I can do?”

“No, its fine.” Martin wasn’t even sure what he wanted, and it certainly couldn’t be anything Jon could do.

Jon hesitated for a moment before lying down. “If you’re sure…” he said. It wasn’t too long after that he was out like a light.

Martin continued staring up at the ceiling. He had spent a lot of nights like that the past few months, going over and over again if his plan would work. If everyone was ok. If he was doing the right thing… Martin sighed, and turned his head to look at Jon. As much as agonizing through daily decisions was, agonizing over the past was worse. You can’t change the past, and Martin knew that very well. He wanted to just…

“Jon?” Martin asked, a slight panic in his voice.

Jon opened his eyes halfway in response.

“Am I still here?”

Jon reached out to Martin, finding his arm, and holding it steady. “You’re here.” He shifted over so that his arm was wrapped around Martin and his head on Martin’s chest. “You’re here, and I’m not leaving.”

Martin put his arm around Jon, who somehow fit so perfectly in that embrace. He ran is fingers through Jon’s long hair. It was very apparent that the man needed a trim or something. It was a good length to braid with, though it would probably be a good idea to get Jon to use a better shampoo and strengthen the hair a little.

“What are you doing, Martin?” Jon asked sleepily, looking up at his beloved.

“Sorry…”

“Don’t…” Jon propped himself up so he was looking right at Martin, “It’s fine, it’s just you keep pulling on it.”

“Your hair’s all tangled.”

“I’m not really about to fix that now. Are you actually ok?”

Martin took a deep breath. Screw his fear. “No, I’m not. I just… it’s hard to feel safe here. Knowing that Elias is still out there and there are things trying to kill us and… I don’t like waiting and…” Martin could feel himself crying from stress. Honestly, he thought he had cried all those tears before heading off to Scotland, once Jon got him out of the Lonely. Everything he was supposed to be feeling all those months had come out of him at that moment.

Jon didn’t say anything; he rubbed Martin’s shoulder, and held him close. Surprisingly to Martin, it was comforting. “I’m sorry,” Jon eventually said. Martin expected him to say more, but he didn’t. Not because he fell asleep, but because he was actively searching for words of comfort.

Martin shifted so that he was lying on his side, and wrapped both his arms around Jon. He put his forehead on top of Jon’s head. Jon moved his arm so that his hand was cradling the back of Martin’s head. It was then that all the fog that seemed to have built up drifted away from Martin’s heart and he knew that for the moment, the night was safe enough. He wasn’t alone and he wasn’t going to be alone. “Thank you,” Martin whispered softly, afraid of what would happen if he broke the moment.

It still took a long time for Martin to fall asleep, despite finding his comfortable position. Jon kept moving around until he decided on sleeping on his side, holding Martin’s right arm like a teddy bear. Martin hummed softly and closed his eyes, and didn’t open them again until morning light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The book that Jon has is one that I actually own. "If you were with me everything would be all right" by Ken Harvey, who happens to be a friend of my uncle's. The specific story I reference within it has the same name as the title of the book. The collection has stories about queer people and is a good read. I do recommend it if people are looking for reading material.  
> I don't know when I'll post up the next chapter, it depends when I get stuff done with the other story. Until then, please leave a comment. I love reading them.


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